Fallen Star: A Ben Solo Fic
by SignaltheStars
Summary: Fifteen-year-old Ben Solo's life was as normal as could be until a deadly accident sends him to Luke's academy. While there Ben helps his uncle uncover the lost Jedi teachings while learning to control powers that impress Luke, but also learns about what secrets his family keeps, ones that could change everything.
1. Chapter 1

Ben's eyes widened when he beheld the gift. "Is this really for me?" He looked up to his mother and gave her a dimpled smile.

Leia smiled back at her son, "as long as you take good care of it, it's yours." She turned away to finish getting ready for the Senate meeting.

Ben studied the calligraphy set. It was brand new and in pristine, never-been-used condition. He wrapped his fingers around the smooth surface of a pen and lifted it from the holder. It had some weight to it, but was perfectly balanced, unlike some of the cheaper sets he had spotted while at the marketplace, where the pens were made of cheaply-manufactured materials that often had a number of defects and either didn't last long or were a struggle to use. He placed the pen on the table and studied the little pot to hold ink and single pen holder, both made of shiny metal that bore no scratches. The tray to hold the pen and pot was made of some sort of sturdy wood and polished to a brilliant shine. Ben ran his fingers along the wood grain, marveling at the expert craftsmanship and inhaling the fragrant scent of the wood.

He moved on to the little box that accompanied the set. It was made of the same wood as the tray and also crafted and shined with as much care. It was like a little treasure chest. His little treasure chest. There were little holes on top to hold the pens. He opened the box slowly, as if it could break, but noted how smoothly it glides on it's fine metal hinges. Inside was a single glass container of black ink. Ben unscrewed the metal lid and dipped the tip of a finger in the black liquid. He let the ink trail smoothly down the side of his finger. Not too thin, where it could feather on the parchment and barely be detectable, and not too thick or clumpy, which could create large concentrated blotches of ink and render any writing a total mess. Just right, he thought.

"Do you like it?" Leia asked over her shoulder as she poured herself some caf and stirred in a small amount of cream and sugar, the spoon clanking loudly against the cup.

Ben's eyes lit up with that boyish excitement Leia adored, "it's wonderful!" He imagined all the letters he could write, maybe he could try his hand at poetry, if he was any good. He was sure there would be a girl or two at school who would swoon over it, the thought to himself and he couldn't help but smile. Maybe he could even write one for Kya. He could see her now with that beaming smile and bright blue eyes and a flip of that blonde hair as her and her friends giggled over Ben's poem. Ben himself giggled at the thought. He could feel now how the scratching of the pens against the parchment vibrated up the pen's shaft to his hand, and the excitement of it all made his heart flutter.

"Like I said," Leia moved to the table, "please take care of it and clean it when you're done. I don't want it to be left a mess like you've left mine," Leia said firmly between sips of caf. She sat next to Ben, cup of caf in one hand and data pad in the other, and shot him a quick smile before turning to her work. She studied various screens on her pad as she sipped, occasionally flicking her finger across the screen. Sip, read, sip, flick, repeat.

"What should I write first?" Ben enthusiastically asked Leia, "I need some practice, that's for sure." Leia replied with an 'mmm-hmm' as she sipped, then flicked her screen again. "Maybe dad will take me on his next trip and I can write you about it." Leia mumbled a quick 'that's nice, dear,' "or, maybe I can copy from some of those old books in your study. Do you have anything I can look at, mom?" Leia didn't answer. Instead she squinted harder at the data pad screen, bringing it closer to her face. Ben's smile faded "Mom? Mother!"

Leia slammed her data pad down on the table. "Ben! I'm trying to get this read before the meeting. I know you're excited about this, but I need to concentrate on this report!," Leia said irritably, "if they wouldn't send me this stuff last minute, I could actually enjoy my breakfast instead of having to cram everything in. I'm expected to become an expert on these matters within an hour!" She grumbled to herself. She leaned into her data pad further, "well, why are we still discussing trade in the outer rim? We settled it last week!"

Ben's heart dropped. He stared at his mother, opening and closing his mouth, stunned. He should be used to this by now. His mother was often very busy, but lately, she was so immersed in her work that she had had moments where she would snap at him.

Without a word, Ben shot from his seat, leaving the calligraphy set behind, and ran to his room. "Ben!" Leia called after him. The was a screech of a chair being pushed out from the table. Ben quickened his pace, crashing through the apartment. He hit the panel by his door, rushed into his room, and slammed his fist against the panel just inside his door to close it. Ben flung himself onto his bed, jerking his body onto his side so he faced away from the door. He balled up his fists and wrapped his arms around the soft, blue duvet. Heat rose to his face as he clenched and unclenched his jaw. He could feel the heaviness of tears, but he didn't cry. He wouldn't allow himself to cry.

"Ben," Leia's voice was soft and calming. He hadn't heard the door slide open in all his anger. The bed shifted under her weight. "Ben, I'm so sorry. I've just..." she sighed, "everything that's been going on with the Republic. All these politicians pushing for the same things that were catalysts in the rise of the Empire, I've been burying myself in this to make sure it all doesn't happen again. I can't let it." She shifted and placed a hand on Ben, looking over his shoulder. A muscled feathered in his jaw as he strained to avoid eye contact and hoped she would go away.

Leia sighed in sadness at her son's refusal to speak, "Ben, I promise, just like the last time we had this issue, once this all passes, I will make sure to spend more time with you. I wish this was easy. Maybe we can even take a short trip with your father and you can write all about it. You can pick the world we visit."

Ben turned toward his mother. She gave him a guilty smile, "but, you and dad always end up arguing over something stupid. Remember the last time?"

Leia looked away in embarrassment as she remembered the last family trip they had taken, "yes, well, we'll try not to bicker. Besides, someone has to keep your father from doing something that could result in a bounty on his head." Ben finally cracked a smile, one that Leia returned. "There's that smile I love so much," her smile faded, "just be patient, Ben. It will all work out. Eventually."

Ben nodded, "okay." He released the tension in his muscles and unclenched his fists.

Leia leaned forward and pressed her lips to her son's forehead, leaving a bright-red smudge on his fair skin, "how about you go play with your friends today? It's a pretty day outside." The Hosnian sun shone into the room. It was indeed one of the warmest days they had had in quite a while and, after a long winter, Ben had definitely needed some time outside, rather that be playing with his friends or sitting in the gardens with his calligraphy set awaiting inspiration on those poems he was sure would be absolutely terrible, but he didn't care. Maybe he could do both.

Ben's smile widened as he thought of all the possibilities for that day and nodded to his mother, "okay."

Leia patted her son on the shoulder, "I'll see you tonight," the bed shifted again as she rose from her seat. She turned to leave, by paused before adding, "if everything goes smoothly." Ben swore he heard her sigh at the thought of yet another day of bickering in the Senate. She stepped out of the door and slid it shut.

Ben settled back into his bed, hugging his duvet tighter. He was sure one one thing: he was never going to get into politics.

* * *

The excitement of using his new calligraphy set was too much to ignore. He emerged from his room and sat at the table, staring at the set. What should he write first? He couldn't decide.

But, there was some other feeling that overwhelmed him as he sat there. He was alone. He had understood that both his parents had other matters to attend to, but he had this feeling as if there was a hole in him, one that the calligraphy set was meant to fill, but didn't.

Ben grabbed for the little treasure box and opened the lid when a voice echoed in his ear, " _Ben Solo_." Ben dropped the lid of the treasure box with a snap. He looked around for the owner of the voice. It was deep, gravely, one that would haunt his nightmares. He had heard it before, but never so loud.

Ben looked around the room, sharply turning his head left and right. "Who's there? Show yourself!" He ordered.

 _"A calligraphy set to fill that void they leave. What empty gifts they give for their selfishness. Only temporary happiness for a lifetime of loneliness_." The voice said with menace.

"You're wrong! They have...they have their responsibilities." Ben shouted into the room.

The voice laughed, " _you'll soon see the truth of it all. They haven't an idea what is to come. You're destined for greatness, Ben Solo. It's all in your blood. You shall see_." The voice whispered the final sentence before fading away.

"Hello?" Ben said. He waited, looking around the room, but there was no answer. Ben's heart pounded in his ears and he was vaguely aware that he had begun to sweat.

The strange voice he heard was his secret, but it had never spoken to him, other than calling his name. Maybe it was all in his head, maybe it wasn't. His parents must never know. No one must ever know. His mother might be more understanding, as Uncle Luke would know what to do. Uncle Luke was a great Jedi who was instrumental in the downfall of the Empire. But his father often dismissed all the Jedi stuff, even after all he had seen. He'd never understand and Ben didn't want what little he had with his father taken away.

He tried dismissing what he had heard, but there was something that the voice had told him.

 _You're destined for greatness, Ben Solo. It's all in your blood._

He sat there, puzzled by the meaning of it. The voice could have meant his relation to Luke. Luke was strong and was a hero in the Galactic War. Though he could do wondrous things through the Force, Ben never saw him as "great." He knew of his lineage, of the Jedi he was descended from: Anakin Skywalker.

Ben knew his grandfather was strong, but he had never had the chance to become anything great. Anakin Skywalker had died around the time Emperor Palpatine ordered all Jedi to be assassinated. Being descendants, Anakin's children, Luke and Leia had to be hidden away for fear the Emperor would go after them as well to ensure the Jedi were indeed extinct. The Emperor had an enforcer as well. Leia didn't like to discuss Darth Vader, and neither did Luke. They had had many encounters with Vader during the years they spent fighting in the war. Ben knew that Vader had killed Anakin Skywalker, as well as his wife, Padme Amidala. Ben didn't know much more after that.

Not able to find a satisfying conclusion, Ben shrugged. He wrapped his fingers around a pen and smoothed out a blank sheet of parchment. He was just about to retrieve the container of ink-he was going to write a letter to his mother-when there was a beeping sound.

Ben pressed the button and a holo appeared. It was Ben's friend, Nat Pyrco. "Hey Ben!" The blue holo of the curly-haired boy smiled. "You want to go play ball? We're getting a group together near the spaceport. Trying to get as many as possible. Wanna come?"

Ben smiled, "yeah, I guess I could. When? I was just trying out the new calligraphy set mom got me." He had to mention the calligraphy set. It was too exciting to keep it to himself.

Nat's eyes widened, "your mom got you a calligraphy set? Why?" He raised an eyebrow. Ben felt a surge of shame. He knew Nat wouldn't understand his hobby, "nevermind, don't tell me why. Well, I heard through quite a few people that Kya is gonna be there," Nat teased in that we-all-know-you-have-a-crush-on-her voice.

Ben blushed, hiding his smile from a giggling Nat. Maybe he could finally work up the nerve to ask her to be his girlfriend. The winter ball was coming up at school and, though it was early, Ben didn't have anyone to bring. Maybe he could show off his skills playing ball. That should impress her. Yes, then he could write her sappy poems. Ben composed himself, but a smile still rugged at his mouth. "Okay, when should I meet you," he giggled.

"Maybe in an hour? Would that work?" Nat was still amused by Ben's reaction. Damnit, he wasn't going to let Ben live it down and Ben suddenly was nervous at what Nat would do when they saw Kya.

Ben smiled quickly, "okay, see you then!" Before Nat could answer with more teasing, Ben shut the holo off. He sat there for a while, smiling to himself before he pushed off from the table to get ready.

* * *

"Did you...style your hair?" Nat furrowed his eyebrows, but that side smile rugged at his mouth.

Ben looked down at the stocky, freckled boy with messy, curly hair, "yeah, you like it?" He ran his fingers through his thick, black waves, smoothed back with styling cream.

Nat smirked, "If THAT'S your style for playing sports, I'm scared to see what you come up with for the winter ball." Ben smiled and nudged his friend playfully with his fist. The two boys laughed before Nat continued. "You look good, though." Something across the field caught Nat's eye. He leaned toward Ben, not taking his eyes off of what he was staring at and whispered, "But, I'm pretty sure I'm not the one whose opinion matters to you."

Ben turned his attention to a group of people across the field. There, walking with some of the other students from school, was Kya Terraneon.

And she was all Ben saw. Both he and Nat gawked, admiring Kya's petite, athletic physique and mega-watt smile. The way she flipped her hair when she laughed and wrinkled her slender nose when she found something particularly funny. But, what Ben loved most about her was how she would gaze at him and bite her lip as if there was something she wanted to say to him, but didn't want to say it, not yet. More than that, she was one of the few girls who was always nice to him, no matter how awkward he became around her.

"Ben, did you hear me?" Ben jumped and blinked. Kya was standing right in front of him, an amused half smile across her face. A couple of her friends, one human, one Twi'lek, giggled behind her.

"Wha...what?" Ben stumbled over his words. He cleared his throat and blinked away his gaze with a quick smirk as if it he had never been staring at her.

Kya chortled, "I said 'Hi Ben, how are you?'" This caused her friends to snicker even more.

"Oh," Ben stuck his thumb up, playing it as cool as he could, "I'm great, how about you?" He smiled nervously.

"I'm good. Just glad we get to finally get out." Kya's smile never faded as she spoke to Ben. Ben never wanted it to go away, he could stare at that smile until the day he died.

"Hey, Ky, you here to watch the game?" Said the one voice Ben didn't want to here. Sed Plunu barreled through the crowd, he and his friends hooting and hollering as they rough-housed each other. He wasn't nearly as tall as Ben, but made up for it with his burly build, which could plow Ben over any day. He had dirty blonde hair and steel-grey eyes. Ben hoped that one day, he could put on some muscle to even out his lanky build. He was glad that at least he had broad shoulders and towered over most of his peers to make up for his slender frame.

Kya furrowed her eyebrows, glancing at Sed, but never quite breaking her stare with Ben. "No, I plan to play," she shot back.

"With us boys?" Sed gave her a cocky smirk. He placed a hand on her shoulder, "aren't you afraid to get that pretty little outfit of yours dirty, sweetheart?" Sed and his friends snorted in laughter. "I'll be sure to go easy on you."

Ben wanted to punch him, but didn't. Though his mother wouldn't think twice about it otherwise, it wouldn't look good with her being a senator. Han, on the other hand, would find joy in Ben hitting Sed ("make sure you get him square in the jaw," followed by "don't let your mom know I told you that.").

Ben began to straighten to his full height to defend Kya, but Kya stepped forward and squared her shoulders to Sed, "yeah, I'll be sure to do the same to you, sweetheart." She said.

Ben raised his eyebrows. It was difficult to suppress the smile. Sed's smile faded into a frown. Kya purses her lips, the corners turned up as if she were telling him 'say something. I dare you.' Ben couldn't help but snort, and it got Sed's attention, "you wanna say something, Solo?" the brute growled.

Ben's smile spread across his lips. Nat was trying so hard to suppress his snickering, "no, I think Kya covered it, sweetheart." Ben sneered. Kya bit her lip. Several of the onlookers roared in laughter.

Sed stepped forward until he was in Ben's face, or as in Ben's face as he could be with the height difference. Ben didn't flinch as Sed glared up at him, sticking a fat finger in Ben's face. "You better watch it, Solo." Sed sneered through his teeth, "I don't care who your parents are or what they did in the war. I'm not afraid to pound that pretty face of yours into the ground. Got it, princess?"

Ben still didn't budge, only rolled his eyes, and leaned in, "well, if it's not too much to ask, can you aim right here?" Ben pointed to an area near his right eye, "always wanted a badass scar."

The crowd around them was in stitches. Kya, though, backed away nervously expecting a fight. But, Sed only stared Ben down. "Get your team together so I can drag your ass up and down this field." Ben gave him one last smirk before Sed stomped off, screaming at his cronies.

* * *

Kya and Nat, along with some of Sed's other bullying victims, were on Ben's team while Sed had his group of minions, and those too afraid to stand up for themselves, were on Sed's.

The game was hoverball. It was simple. Players kick a floating ball down the field and attempt to kick the ball into the opposing team's hoop hovering above the ground. No touching the ball with hands, except for the goalkeeper and when a team must throw an out-of-bounds ball back in bounds. Roughhousing other players wasn't allowed. Since they didn't have an official timekeeper for this game, it was agreed that first team to score six times wins.

Sed's team was given the ball first. Gaten, a much smaller boy than most in Ben's class, was first to get the ball and dribbled it down the field. He was fast, zigging and zagging through unsuspecting opponents, but not fast enough. Ben swooped in and, with one swipe of his foot, stole the ball from Gaten. Running was exhilarating for Ben, cleansing even. Hoverball came naturally for Ben. It was as if he knew in advance when an opponent would strike. Sed even stumbled over his own feet in his pursuit of Ben and gazed on in astonishment as Ben shot the first goal in.

The game went back and forth, Sed's team scored, with Kya keeping goal, Ben's team scored with some pimply kid whose name Ben couldn't place keeping goal. Sed's goal, Ben's goal. Sed's goal. Ben's goal. Until the game was tied five-to-five.

Ben was doubled over panting. The warmth of the sun prickled his back and beads of sticky sweat ran down his forehead, his black hair sticking to his reddened skin. He was exhausted, but felt more focused than ever. "Hey, Ben, you want to sit this one out and put someone else in? You know, someone who hasn't played in a while?" Nat said, bending over with Ben.

Ben straightened up and begun walking to centerfield, "no, let's finish this." Ben threw his shoulders back, though he panted, walking as tall as he could, fists clenched.

Sed's face was deep purple. He, too, hadn't sat out for the entire game. His shoulders were bunched, but there was a smirk across his face. It was his team's ball.

Sed went right first, then took a sharp left, with Ben aggressively covering him. "You think you can win, Solo?" Sed growled as he swerved around Ben, only to find Ben had closed off that route as well.

"Oh, I'm sure of it, sweetheart!" There was a flurry of aggression and Sed charged, shoving and punching at Ben. No one called foul and Ben didn't care. He shoved back, grabbing onto Sed's gritty, sweaty tunic and twisting it as Sed pushed him back and back. Ben threw out his hands to further block his foe. He jabbed his foot at the ball, trying to get it free. The crowd around screamed and roared and his teammates hollered, but Ben ignored it all it was just him and Sed...

...until Sed thrust his forearm into Ben's chest and Ben's feet shot from under him and he was sprawled out on the hard ground.

Ben turned. Sed dodged around him. Now, the only thing that stood between Sed and the winning goal was Kya.

Kya charged forward, a tiny force to be reckoned with, and kicked at the ball, but Sed trapped it. She kicked again and again, but Sed made sure the ball never skidded away. Ben got to his feet. Dirt kicked in his wake as he charged with long strides, teeth bared. He was almost there.

But stopped short when Sed grabbed the back of Kya's head and smashed his mouth to hers.

Ben stood there in shock as Sed released Kya. She stumbled away, coughing. Sed laughed as he sailed the ball into the hoop.

His friends rushed, jumping on Sed, whooping, hollering, and pumping fists in their victory. Kya pushed her way through the tangle of sweaty boys to retrieve personal items, some yelling explicit sneers towards her. Kya snapped back as she broke free of the group and marched towards the other side of the goal, the spaceport beyond. Sed reached out as she was just moving away from the group and pinched her bottom. She froze, fists clenched, shoulders trembling, "next time, just sit it out, sweetheart."

Something inside Ben, an inferno deep within, roared from deep within his core. The world around him was white noise. He could hear Nat calling his name. Kya was screaming at him, "Ben, don't!" But, Ben ignored it all. The roaring in his head grew and grew. No control. Nothing. Just him and Sed. He clenched his teeth so tight his jaw popped, and screamed as he hurled his fist at Sed's jaw.

And missed. Sed ducked under Ben's hook. Ben shot forward uncontrollably, hand outstretched and fingers sprawled out wide. As he stumbled forward, that inferno within blazed down his arm and blasted out his fingertips.

A blinding white light flashed from behind Kya at the spaceport, followed by a deafening explosion. Ben was hurled backwards through the air and slammed into the ground.

There was only a piercing ringing in his ears as the world around him went black.

 **A/N: Ahh! I'm in too deep! I mentioned on my tumblr (agalaxyfarfaraway87) that I really wanted a Ben Solo novel. Like, really bad. So, I decided to write this! It might suck, I don't know. I just need to write it. I'll still work on my other two fics, but this should help keep me occupied. I pulled some of this from my fic, Whispers, when Ben reminisces about the accident that sent him to Luke. I'm changing a few things about it. I hope this satisfies until Lucasfilm publishes the official story! Enjoy!**


	2. Chapter 2

There was shouting. Lots and lots of shouting and sirens and the roar of an inferno.

It all sounded so far away, yet the chaos surrounding Ben Solo was so close.

Ben blinked open his eyes. They burned as the smoke drifted in. Everything felt as if it had been burned. Eyes. Lungs. Skin. The world around him. _Let it all burn._

Ben convulsed with every cough, spraying spit on his chin. The metallic tang of blood and ash filled his mouth. He struggled to inhale, the sharpness of charred metal clung to every airway. His body felt stiff and heavy and bruised as if he had just endured several beatings from Sed. He let his eyes drift to the right and he gingerly turned his head, each pop of joints audible in his ears.

Several people laid spread eagle, covered in dirt and soot and various bits of debris. Sed was laying prone, groaning as he tried and failed to push himself up, spraying a mouthful of blood onto the ground with fits of coughing. He spotted Nat as well, laying several meters from Sed, supine and rubbing his head. Ben squinted to the scene beyond. There was black smoke in the sky, so much the daytime sky looked like night. Or was it night, he thought, and he had been laying there unconscious for many hours?

Beyond the reaches of his vision, there was the glowing of fire. Several people, silhouetted against the smoke, sprinted towards where the inferno roared in the spaceport.

It took every bit of energy for Ben to lift his head and turn it to the left. He did so with extra care as it felt as if his neck could snap if he went too fast.

His breathing seized when he saw Kya laying unconscious about five meters away, her neck bent at an unnatural angle.

Everything came rushing back to him, how to move, speak, and finally his hearing. He scrambled across the ground, crawling frantically to this small, helpless girl. The girl he had had a crush on since he was ten. The girl who bit her lip when she smiled at him and was unafraid to stand up to brutes like Sed, despite her size. The girl he was going to write crappy love poems to.

Ben stumbled as he scurried over to, his face crashing into ground. His muscles quaked as he pushed his leaden body off the ground. His body heaved and he retched, spilling the contents of his stomach, choking on the sourness of bile and blood. He inched forward as he spat the last of bodily fluids into the ground and crawled to Kya's side.

Ben bent over Kya and placed a finger on her cold, pale skin where her pulse should be, but felt nothing. "Kya?" He sobbed, tears spilling down his cheek.

Kya was dead.

There was a churning deep within the pits of Ben's stomach, much like that inferno, but it was like ice. There was nothing but Ben and Kya. Ben cupped her cheeks with trembling hands, rubbing a thumb over her icy skin, smearing the sticky trail of drying blood that had ran from her nose. He gazed into her eyes, still open and glazed over with wetness as if she knew she was being ripped away from a world she wasn't yet ready to leave and the last thing she saw was her friend-or perhaps someone she wanted to have more, just like Ben wanted something more-getting into a brawl like a brainless brute, just like Sed.

Ben crumbled, his sobs turned to screams and fits of warring emotions. Fear. Confusion. Anger. Sadness. Despair. He pressed his forehead to Kya's shoulder, against the bare skin exposed from the rip in her tunic, hoping he would find a tiny bit of warmth or a flutter of a pulse, but there was only death and bitter cold.

A flash from the spaceport made Ben jump and snap his attention towards the commotion. He gasped sharply at what he saw.

The wall of fire roared in the distance. At least five ships, maybe more, were engulfed in raging cyclones of fire and smoke. The heat blasted Ben in the face. The bridge of his nose and apples of his cheeks felt as if they had been scorched by the blaze, even from so far away. Many figures, silhouetted black, ran back and forth, throwing different materials on the fires, others barking orders and pointing towards the debris.

He was numb. Ben was numb and it felt so unreal. He only stared, confused. What happened? It was an accident. Yes, an accident. Had to be. Mishandled explosives? Pilot error? Or what if it hadn't been an accident? The galaxy was still rife with bounty hunters and other fiends trying to overthrow a politician. Politics were still as dangerous as ever. It could've been anything.

But, Ben had a feeling it was something else.

He raised his hand to his face and studied his fingers. They still tingled with remnants of the strange surge of energy that blasted from his fingers the same time the world around him exploded. His gaze drifted between the chaos ahead and his hand, back and forth, his mouth agape at the realization.

He was so fixated by his thought that he didn't notice the man approaching him.

"Ben?" Han Solo grabbed Ben's shoulder, shaking him gently out of his daze. Ben shot his gaze to Han. "You okay?" The aged Solo looked down on his son with a furrowed brow, but his eyes were wide with worry. Ben didn't speak, only trembled as if he were about to get into the worst trouble he had ever been in. He swallowed uncontrollably as he glanced between the spaceport and his hand, then back up at Han as if this was the only way he could tell his father he had done something really bad.

Han followed his son's panicked glances and the furrow in his brow deepened until the realization set in, "oh no," he said hoarsely. His gaze rested on his son and his jaw clenched, not in anger, but something else Ben couldn't quite place.

* * *

Ben was immediately taken to the med bay. He didn't fight off the med droids' probing. He wanted to feel something. Raise your right arm. _Oblige._ Turn your head left and right. _Done_. This will hurt for a moment. _Good_.

He was relieved when he was kept overnight and eagerly accepted the sedative the droids offered. The clear liquid burned as it entered his vein and soon, his body was heavy with a sleep he had hoped would be dreamless.

But it wasn't.

 _It was murky at first, but the brightness of a vast land of sand assaulted his vision. He hissed and threw his hand up to shield his eyes from the harsh daylight. The sands shifted below his feet as he turned. What was this place? He had been to many worlds with his father, even desert planets, but not this one. The others had some sort of natural life, sparse or otherwise, but this was nothing but sand as far as Ben could see._

 _There was a piercing shriek from behind. Ben whirled around. Two humans, a male and a female, stood opposite a portly, lumbering alien with no neck and skin that appeared scarred and swollen with disease. Between them was a small child, dressed in rags, flailing their arms and legs, screaming and crying as one of the humans restrained them and the other held out a hand to the alien._

 _Ben settled that this was a girl based on her voice and the way her dark hair was styled in three tight buns down the back of her head. He wanted to step forward and help, but found himself stumbling in the sand._

 _The human-the female who grasped the girl's arm-flung jerked at the girl's arm, "shut up," she hissed through her teeth in a gravely, accented voice. Ben noted how her speech was somewhat slurred._

 _The male impatiently dealt with the alien, thrusting his hand out, "is 'at all yuh can gimme, Plutt?" The male said in Basic so broken, it sounded like a foreign tongue to Ben, "And how long do yous thinks uh gonna get me?" He threw his arms wildly in the air._

 _The alien, Ben thought, was more intelligible than the human male, "you have to put into account how much this is going to cost me. I have to keep her alive for her to have any worth, that means food, clothes, shelter, and that's going to cost me. I may be the one I'm not guaranteed anything out of her."_

 _"Oh, yer guaranteed plenty outta 'er with 'er freakish talents, right girl?" The man snapped, thrusting his face into the girl's and baring his crooked, rotten teeth. The girl winced and cowered back into the woman. The man straightened back up, stepping closer to the alien named Plutt, drawing up his tall, lanky height to meet the alien's. "If yeh can't pay me more, what can yeh gimme for 'er? Any ships able to fly outta this hell?"_

 _Plutt thought for a moment. "There is one deal I can make." He said, "I give you the money, and a ship. But," Plutt held up a puffy finger before the man could speak, "she can never leave until she is eighteen. During that time, she must complete what I ask of her and must make me money each month, a quota, if you will. If she fails to make her quota, even once, she'll be your problem again, I get my ship back and you repay the money or you and your wife will be killed."_

 _Ben furrowed his eyebrows. What kind of deal was he witnessing?_

 _"Done," The man said, holding out a bony hand. The alien's bulky fingers encircled the human's hand and, with the other hand, handed something to the man. The man studied whatever was in his hand, counting then recounting, before flicking a finger from the woman to Plutt._

 _The girl wailed and stumbled as the woman yanked her arm towards Plutt and jabbed her in the back. Plutt's fingers encircled the girl's tiny arm as she thrashed and pulled, reaching out with her other hand for the two humans as they turned and walked away. "No! Come back! Come back! Don't leave me!" But the pair didn't turn back as the girl was dragged away._

 _Ben took two quick strides toward the scene, "No!" He bellowed. The alien and two adult humans didn't show any sign that they could sense him._

 _It was the girl who turned toward him. She stopped her screaming and crying and stared, dumbfounded, at Ben. Ben stared right back at that delicate face, those hazel eyes, trying to blink away her vision. The alien stared at the girl, confused at her actions, following her gaze, but giving no indication he saw Ben or anyone else standing there. Plutt furrowed what would've been his brow and grumbled, "Some deal I got," Plutt sneered, "I give your parents a month before I have to send out a bounty." The girl looked up at Plutt, before turning her attention back to Ben. She opened her mouth to say something, but disappeared in a swirl of smoke_.

Ben shot his head around as the desert world around him collapsed. The dream faded to black and Ben was again lost to the oblivious void of his stupor.

The rest of Ben's time in the infirmary was uneventful and dreamless. He only spoke when asked a question, and often his answers were short, clipped, and mostly just a "yeh" or "neh."

Both Han and Leia came to fetch Ben once he was ready for discharge. They spoke to various personnel, med droids, but Ben didn't pay attention to anything said. He knew his mother spoke to him a couple times. What did she say? He trembled as he gazed into her eyes. His eyes. It was one of the traits he inherited from his mother and, staring into them now was like staring into his own reflection. He averted his gaze from her each time she shot him a worried glanced. He was afraid of what she would find out. Or, worse, what he would find.

Han, on the other hand, didn't say a word. The last thing he said kept repeating in Ben's mind. Oh no. The way he said it was what bothered Ben, as if it had been something Han was expecting, but dreaded. Han would throw worried looks over his shoulder, but would never meet eye contact with Ben.

* * *

Ben was immediately sent to his room when they got back to their apartment to rest, but he had rested enough. He would close his eyes, but instead of the dreamless sleep he hoped for, a pair of blue eyes and beaming smile, the back of a head of blonde hair, would flash in his mind. He threw open his eyes, fists pounding the mattress and clutching the duvet until his knuckles were white.

Unable to find sleep without seeing Kya and increasingly frustrated, Ben flung himself off the bed and paced, running his fingers through his messy black hair.

That's when he heard the shouting.

Ben slid his door open, hoping his parents were too lost in their bickering to notice, and tiptoed down the hallway. There was a light emitting from the kitchen and two shadows paced back and forth. "I don't want this, either, Han, but this is getting out of hand! Thirteen people died! And he knows this time! He'd figure it all out sooner or later!"

Ben rushed to a shadowy area near the kitchen and peaked inside. His father stood near the doorway, his back to where Ben hid.

"I'm not saying I don't want to help him!" Han's arms flailed in the air, "I'm saying there has to be another way instead of forcing him into all of this!"

Ben leaned around the corner again, eyebrows furrowed as he tried to figure out what his father was talking about.

There was a third voice, a calmer, male voice, "does anybody suspect anything regarding the accident?" Ben's eyes widened and he had to stifle a cry when he realized who it was. Luke.

Uncle Luke! Ben eagerly peeked into the kitchen. He hadn't seen Uncle Luke in so long! But, he was immediately disappointed to see the pale blue glow of a hologram. Of course. Luke was...somewhere-Ben didn't know-doing Jedi...stuff.

Leia looked to Han, who shook his head, "no, the investigation is still ongoing, but they've narrowed it down to either weapons malfunction or, what they're leaning towards, a bad hyperdrive. There were a couple junk ships in the spaceport. Any one of them could've blew."

"Those people deserve to know what really happened," Leia said quietly, "that girl who died. Kya. She was Ben's friend. If I were her parents-"

"It will only make things worse," Luke said.

"It will make things right. I can't keep these secrets any longer." Leia said.

Secrets? What secrets? What didn't Ben know? He inched closer, trying to find a clue that wasn't there.

"It's a burden we all must bare," Luke said with a hint of remorse, "there will be those who will shun him because of his powers, and those who will want to use him because of who he is. We can't allow him to become someone feared and hunted. But, he needs training."

Training? What? To be a Jedi like Luke? Did what happened have something to do with all of that? And feared? Hunted? Ben's head spun. He didn't know what any of it meant.

"I think we should just wait. He's still a boy. Let him be a boy." Han said irritably.

"And let more people die because we neglected this? What if next time, someone sees something?" Leia responded, "he's fifteen. We've waited long enough. He needs to learn how to control it. It started out harmless, Han. No one died or thought much of it when they saw pens or toy x-wings flying across the room. Think about what he just did. Think about what he could do one day if this gets worse. He could become V-"

"Don't say it," Han snapped. Leia shut her mouth quickly. "He won't. I won't let him!" Han's voice rose with every syllable.

"Han," Luke said calmly, "I'm afraid we have no other choice. He will need to train and we need to get started as soon as possible."

Han's shoulders slumped, "can you just...give me some time?" Ben noted the sadness in his father's voice. Han sunk to a chair, "I just...I promised I would take him out on the Falcon again. He was so excited about it. He's been getting pretty good at flying." Han gave a small smile, "I was going to teach him a few of my maneuvers."

Ben straightened. Another trip!? His trips with his father were few and far between, but he looked forward to them, especially those times Han did things with him that usually included the phrase "don't let your mother know," though Ben was sure Han would never take him to that cantina ever again after a particularly sticky situation nearly ended with each of them losing an appendage.

"Han," Leia said gently, placing her hand over Han's, "he will understand. Eventually. Disappointment is just part of life. He'll work it all out in his own time, but this is important. We just can't ignore it."

Han sighed loudly. He opened his mouth to say something, but only nodded.

Leia gave one last look to Han before turning to Luke, "when can he come train with you?"

Luke opened his mouth to answer when he paused. Leia looked around confused before she noticed Ben standing in the doorway behind her, tears running down his face.

"You're sending me away?" Ben sobbed, "but, I didn't do anything. I mean," he stumbled over his words, "I-I-I didn't mean to do it. It just happened. I can't leave you. My friends. Why are you doing this?"

Leia stepped forward and reached for her son's hand, but he pulled out of reach, "Ben, this is difficult for us, too. Please understand, we are doing this to help you, not punish you. We love you."

Ben glared at his family. He shook his head, "this isn't what I want. I just..." He sighed. Ben didn't know what he wanted exactly. Not anymore. That had all been taken away from him for reasons he didn't understand.

"Ben, the Force is guiding you down a different path," Luke said gently, "if you resist it, fight it, this will only get worse for everyone. For you. You need to trust us on this."

Ben stared in disbelief. He knew what this meant. He knew he would be ripped away from everything he loved to live an existence he didn't want. And he wasn't given any sort of choice. His face was damp and reddened as he turned to Han, "Dad?" He said, with hope that maybe Han Solo, the one person who often voiced his thoughts on the Force, despite what he had seen in the war, would side with him.

Han sighed as he stood up, "Ben," he started to say, but paused when he saw his son, frightened, angry, staring at his father like a young child. He sighed again before he continued, "Ben, I'm sorry. Luke is right. We can't let this get out of control. We have to do this."

"You promised me!" Ben was screaming now. The three adults in the room froze, stunned. Ben's fingers curled into fists, "you promised we'd go...we would go on our adventures again, you and I! But, you're never around any more. You're too wrapped up in yourself to give a damn!"

Han looked hurt, but turned and pointed a finger to Leia, "now, he sounds just like you!" He said rolling his eyes.

Leia scoffed. "Han!" Her stare bore into her husband, "this isn't the time for...for...you!" Leia clenched her fits and straightened her petite frame in an attempt to meet Han's height.

"Isn't the time for me? Look, sweetheart, this isn't easy for me to deal with." Han stood with his hands on his hips.

Leia gestured to Ben, who stood there, mouth agape, "Do you think it is easy for him? For any of us? Or do you just think about yourself all the time!"

"Enough!" Luke bellowed from behind.

Leia snapped her head around, relaxing back into her tiny form. Her face fell when she saw her son, standing there with this lost expression on his face. "Ben," she said softly. She stepped forward, raising her hands to cup his cheeks, comfort him. Wipe his tears away and tell him everything is going to be okay. She was just inches away, "I'm sor..."

Ben retreated backwards into the shadows of the hallway. He made sure both his parents and Luke saw his pain, his anger, his sadness. Leia was close tears. Luke only stared. But Han, Han couldn't even look his son in the eye.

Ben stared them all down, then ran to his room. He sealed the door this time, but no one came. Good. He didn't want them to. He thought he heard more shouting as his eyelids finally went heavy and, to his relief, he drifted off into a dreamless sleep, but not before a deep, gravelly voice whispered his name, " _Ben Solo._ "

* * *

"Where's dad?" Ben mumbled to Leia as he packed his things.

Leia dropped her gaze to the floor and sighed loudly, "your dad is...being your dad." She looked up at her son and pressed her lips into a small smile, but Ben noted the sadness in her eyes, the tears that threatened to spill. That was all the answer Ben needed to know Han Solo left. Again.

Ben returned to packing, not looking at his mother. "He's mad at me, isn't he?" He stuffed a wad of tunics into his bag.

Leia sat down on his bed, her dark blue dress spreading out beneath her "Ben," she said quietly, sadly, "your father...he doesn't understand what you have. And he probably never will. Not fully, at least. He's dealing with this in his own way." She leaned forward and forced Ben to look at her, "he loves you. We all love you. This is difficult for us, too. But, we don't have another option."

Ben wanted to argue, but didn't. Only nodded and quietly returned to shoving pairs of pants and personal supplies into his bag. He reached for his next item, but paused when his hand touched the calligraphy set. "Should I take it?" He looked up at his mother.

"If you want." Leia said, "Maybe writing can help you cope. Like an escape. You can write that poetry you've been wanting to write." Ben snapped his head to his mother, who gave him an all-knowing smile. He had hoped that he could at least keep that from his mother. But, there was little he could keep from her. Leia sighed, "just because Kya is gone doesn't mean you can't write her poems. She'll still be with you."

A hint of guilt and sadness passed through Ben, "are you going to tell her parents?"

Leia knew exactly what he meant, "while I disagree with your uncle and your father on this, I have to agree that there are far too many consequences if we were to say something. We aren't going to tell them, but I think it will come out when the time is right." Ben looked at his mother, almost in disappointment. Leia moved closer, wrapping a comforting arm around her son's shoulders. "they deserve to know, but the dangers are too great. Many still don't understand the Jedi, or the Force in general, and many fear it. It's our burden to bare, but we will bare it together. We will be with you through it all. I promise. And things will get better. It's all part of your journey through life. There will be times it will be a life to celebrate, and times of darkness and despair, but there is one thing you must never give up." Leia stared deep into Ben's eyes, "hope."

Without warning, Leia wrapped her arms tight around Ben and pulled him in. Ben returned the hug and could've sworn Leia was weeping. She pressed her lips to the top of Ben's head and paused there, breathing in his scent. "It will be alright, sweetie." She said into his thick hair. Ben let one single tear fall down his cheek.

When Leia left, he took special care to make sure the calligraphy set would not get damaged when he packed it away.

Luke arrived that evening in a transport ship. "Where are we going?" Ben said when he saw his uncle for the first time in years. Luke wore a brown cloak over his tan robes. His hair, still worn at ear-length, had a slight hint of grey at the temples and there were more faint lines on Luke's face than Ben remembered, but those unmistakable bright blue eyes were still the same, as was the single block glove he wore over his cybernetic right hand. He was followed out of the ship by a beeping blue and white astromech droid, R2D2.

Luke put a hand out to the droid, "Not now, Artoo," he muttered, turning back to Ben. He gave a quick smile to his nephew, "That, Ben, is a secret." Ben could see a hint of pain in his uncle's face. Another secret. Perhaps seeing the disappointment in Ben's face, Luke said, "it will all be okay, Ben."

Leia stood behind Ben, "Luke," she walked forward and threw her arms around her brother. "It's so good to see you." Artoo chirped excitedly, "yes, hello Artoo."

Luke wrapped his arms around his sister, "it's good to see you too." Ben couldn't help but think that the other part of that sentence was 'even though this isn't the best situation.'

Leia pulled back and looked at her brother, arms still wrapped around him, "Do you have to leave so quickly? I never get to see you anymore."

Luke sighed, "you know I want to, but I can't." Leia nodded in disappointment. Ben never understood why Luke rarely stuck around, but figured it had to be because of his status as a Jedi and everything that had happened in the war.

Leia turned to her son and reached up to cup his cheeks, "this is only temporary. Luke will let you send holos back and forth, so keep in touch." Leia wrapped her arms around Ben and pulled her son to her. "I love you."

Ben lowered his head to the crook of Leia's neck, "I love you, too, Mom."

Neither wanted to part ways and it was an effort for both Leia and Ben to let each other go.

Ben followed Luke and R2D2 to the ship and looked back at his mother one last time and hoped that, one day, he would get to see her again.

* * *

The journey to this new planet was much shorter than expected and Luke was not forthcoming to where they were.

There was nothing remarkable about the planet. Just some hills filled with greenery, nothing he hadn't seen before. What was remarkable was the vast, towering structure in the center of a grassy hill where Luke had set down the transport.

The stone temple was huge. There were no elaborate designs adorning the walls, but it's architecture was impressive with its sky-scraping, oblong central dome. Several small, simple huts were scattered on the grounds surrounding the structure with stone walkways connecting everything.

Ben grabbed his bag as the transport set down and made his way off the ship. It was slightly too humid for Ben's liking and a bit warmer than it had been on Hosnian Prime. Of course, he didn't know what season this was for this planet. The skies were overcast with a blanket of dense, grey clouds. There were only a few birds flying around in the distance and maybe a few small animals burrowing off in the distance. The only growth on this face of the hill was a thin veil of green grass. He saw some trees off in the distance on the other side of the hill, but nothing else.

"Where are the others?" Ben said turning to his uncle.

"What others?" Luke said as he stepped on land, followed by Artoo. "It's just you and me right now. I'm hoping to add more students soon." Luke walked pass Ben towards one of the huts, "I wanted to get started with you before I added more. I'm looking for probably a dozen or so to train. Lor San Tekka, you'll meet him soon enough, is off world right now. He's helped me recover much of what the Empire had erased of the Jedi." Luke didn't turn back to look at Ben as he led him down the path.

"Is he a Jedi?" Ben asked. He stumbled briefly on some loose stones and threw his arms out to brace for fall, but quickly balanced himself.

"No," Luke said, "he's a member of the Church of the Force. You'll learn about it later." Luke jumped over a pile of loose rocks. He turned and pointed them out to Ben, "watch your step." He made sure Ben understood before continuing, "Members of the Church had aided in the defeat of the Empire. San Tekka can tell you more about it, but I feel that their history, given all they have done, is worth learning. Here we are." Luke paused at the stone hut and pushed open the creaking door.

Ben's heart dropped when he saw the tiny bed with thin blankets and a lumpy pillow. On the other side was a simple workbench. The space was cramped, especially for Ben's tall stature. There was a single small window in the hut and a tiny fireplace along the far wall. The floor was made of wood that at least had been sanded to prevent splinters, but still Ben's new sleeping quarters were too drastic of a change from the luxury of his family's apartment on Hosnian Prime.

Ben stood there, mouth agape, swallowing anxiously. He should tell Luke thank you, but found it difficult to accept. "I know it isn't much, Ben," Luke said. Ben snapped his attention to Luke and immediately corrected the obvious disappointment on his face, "but you'll learn to live with it. And that bed is more comfortable than it looks." He nodded towards the bed. Ben wondered how he was going to fit in it comfortably given his size. "You'll need to focus on your training and studies and this will help you focus better."

Ben nodded, but averted his gaze downward, "thank you, Luke," he said quietly.

Luke patted Ben on the shoulder, "tomorrow, we begin lesson one." He flicked his head towards the hit, "now, get settled in, then get some rest." Luke released Ben's shoulder and started up the path. "I hope you're an early riser. We start at dawn." He called out to Ben as he moved along the path, leaving Ben alone.

Ben watched his uncle for a moment, then moved to go inside. SMACK! "Ooowwww!" Ben held his hand to his forehead as he stumbled backward a couple steps. He squinted and saw he had hit his head on a low-hanging beam. He winced, dabbing his forehead to see if there was any blood, and when he found there wasn't any, he ducked inside and shut the door behind him.

* * *

Ben sat for what seemed like hours with the pen in his hand. Night had already fallen and all he concentrated on was the dance of the candlelight on the parchment. He had unpacked all his things and immediately wanted to use his calligraphy set, but couldn't find anything to say. Or anyone to write to. Would his parents ever receive a handwritten letter? He couldn't figure out how to start those crappy poems to a dead girl. Nor did he really have any ambition to write once he had set everything up. It was all too fresh, the pain the confusion. Guilt. It was all like a deep wound that in time would either scar over or fester into something worse, but never fully heal.

Ben flung the pen to the side. It bounced away, ink splattering on the once-clean workbench. He sighed in frustration as he pushed up off the workbench, blew out the candles, and went to bed.

Ben had to curl his legs in and sleep on his side to fit on the bed. Luke was right. The bed itself was deceptively more comfortable than it looked, but still, Ben tossed and beat his fists against mattress and pillow trying to get everything to conform to his body like the beds at home automatically did for him. He finally got somewhat comfortable and was careful not to move for fear the contents of the bed would shift.

He laid awake for quite a long time, thinking, worrying. He was so far away from everyone with only Luke. How did his mother explain to everyone his absence? He wondered how Nat was fairing after the explosion, if he was still in the med bay. He even wondered about Sed. But, the person he thought about even more was Kya. By now, her body would've been disposed of, either cremated or entombed. He wondered, if things had gone differently, if he hadn't gotten angry, maybe...maybe...

Ben wiped the tears away. There was a tightness in his chest he hadn't yet been able to get rid of. It hurt. It all hurt. It was the worst pain he had ever felt. Not only guilt, but he felt alone. Maybe he was alone or maybe it was all in his head and he just needed to get over everything that was happening to him, but the thoughts were still wrapped tight around his mind.

As he finally felt sleep pull on him and he drifted off, he thought of Kya. He wanted to see her face again. Talk to her. Tell her how deeply sorry he was. Maybe he could

imagine what it would be like to take her to the winter ball. But, he knew it wouldn't be real.

He did dream of a girl that night, but it wasn't Kya.

 _The room was shrouded in darkness except for a beam of moonlight illuminating one tiny corner of the room. Ben sat in farthest reaches of the room, where no light could reach. His mouth went immediately dry. The room was stifling and arid. He scanned the room until his eyes stopped on a tiny figure, curled up near the single window. Ben immediately recognized who this was, her three buns shook with every wave of sobs._

 _Ben reached out, unsure what to say first or if he should say anything to this strange girl, "why are you crying?" He said as gently as he could._

 _The girl jumped with a startled squeal. She pressed her back into the wall, her eyes wide and glistening with tears. Ben could tell she had been crying for a long time as her eyes and cheeks were red. "Stay away from me!" She said. Ben noted the strange beauty of her lilting accent._

 _"I'm not going to harm you," Ben reached his hand or further. He tried moving closer, but the girl pressed herself further into the wall. Ben backed away, back into the shadows. He stared at her, calmly, for a few moments. The girl finally released some of the tension in her small body and began to settle into the floor. There was a rattle and clink of metal. Ben gasped when he saw the chain around her tiny ankle. He stared back up at her. "What's your name?"_

 _The girl didn't answer. She only turned her head towards the window. Ben swallowed nervously, "I'm Ben." Still no answer. Not even some girl who existed only in his dreams wanted to speak to him._

 _Ben thought back to the last dream he had of her. She had been distraught. Her parents were...disgusting was the perfect word for them. He could say the same about the alien, Plutt, but at least he seemed to have a basic understanding of civilized language, and perhaps was cleaner than the two humans, despite his swollen, flabby skin._

 _"Where are your parents?" It was the only question Ben could think of he doubted she would answer that too._

 _"They left," she said in a small, but forceful, voice that told Ben that she didn't want him there. Ben shrunk back into the corner to wait for the dream to end, but the little girl continued speaking, head pressed to the wall and hazel eyes fixated on the moonlight, "but they'll be back. They always come back," she sighed before quietly adding, "eventually."_

 _Ben couldn't help but feel sorry for this girl, even if she was just in his head. "What's your name?" He asked again. Really, if she wasn't real, he could give her whatever name he wanted._

 _The girl stared at him for a moment. She opened her mouth to speak, "R-" but her voice was lost in a swirling sea of black mist and she was gone and he was falling into a black oblivion._

* * *

Luke's fist pounded on the door with quick loud thuds, "Time to get up, Ben!"

Ben's eyes flew open, but immediately shut his eyes at the bright morning light pouring in from the simple window. He would need to find something to cover that up, he thought. He grabbed the thin sheet and pulled it around him, realizing how cold he was compared to the hot climate in his dreams. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes before pushing himself up out of bed, yawning and groaning. He was still very stiff and bruised from the accident and ached all over, but at least didn't feel like he weighed a ton.

Ben hissed as his feet touched the frigid floor. Slippers. He didn't pack his slippers. He sighed. Idiot. Maybe he could figure something out for the time being, but he didn't think could live with it and needed something, anything, quick. The coldness was that uncomfortable type of cold. It didn't bite at the skin, but it instead made everything dry and numb, as if he didn't have feet at all.

He pushed himself off of the bed and opened the door, a chilly burst of air assaulting him. He winced and wrapped his arms around himself in a fruitless effort to warm himself. Luke stood there with a thick robe wrapped tightly around him. He gave Ben a quick look up and down. "Get something warm on," he said, "mornings tend to be cold here, but it should warm up later in the day." Luke turned and walked back up the path and Ben immediately shut the door.

Ben followed his uncles directions, slipping on a thick tunic and pants and boots, but didn't have a robe. He was relieved, however, to find Luke standing at his door with a black robe draped over his arm. Luke handed the robe to Ben, who immediately fought through the tangled garment and put the robe on. It fit loosely around his thin frame, but "Ready?" Ben nodded, Luke's turned to go back up the path and motioned for Ben to follow. Ben stepped into cold air, still slightly chilled through the thick layers of clothes. He pulled the door shut behind him and climbed the path. Luke peered over his shoulder at Ben, "Lesson One."

 **A/N: Hello all! Hope you have enjoyed this so far! If you're wondering, I'm a big fan of the theory that Rey and Ben saw each other before they met on Takodana in TFA. There is a lot of evidence of this in the novels that they saw each other in visions and dreams. I have it planned on how this will make sense. The relationship between them will be like a friendship in this and nothing romantic. I am hoping to have the next chapter out next week, but keep in mind I have two other fics I'm writing as well. My goal is weekly on everything, but I do get busy and sometimes I get writer's block. Otherwise, I'll have it out shortly!**

 **PS. I'm trying to decide if I want to have a time jump to when he's 23 now or have a lesson with, then do a time jump. Hopefully, I don't get stuck on this. I have an idea for what to do with this lesson, though.**


	3. Chapter 3

"Unfortunately, Ben, much of the knowledge and texts of the old Jedi teachings were lost in the Great Jedi Purge nearly forty years ago," Luke said as he made his way up the temple steps.

Ben only half listened as he ascended the steps behind his uncle. The temple wasn't much to look at, but it was the size that fascinated Ben. It was bigger than a hoverball field by at least twenty meters in length and width. It looked ancient by design and for the most part poorly-lit, but sturdy and well-built with several massive pillars holding the structure up, creating several darkened corners one could lurk unnoticed in ('my friends would've loved to play hide and seek in this place,' Ben thought, smiling to himself). The blue-grey stones were expertly crafted to form the great dome atop the structure. A single skylight at the very top of the dome cast a beam of light down to the center where, in the center was a pit surrounded by dozens of seats. The circular bottom of the pit held the only embellishment: a blue and white mosaic designed with a symbol that, to Ben, resembled a bird's wings reaching up the perimeter of the circle with a single line reaching down the middle, and near the center on this line was a spark.

"Did you build this yourself?" Ben asked, still studying everything around him.

Luke paused and looked around the room in admiration, "No, this is one of the few surviving Jedi temples from the old days, before the Empire rose. My assumption is that, due to the lack of civilization, this one was ignored, or just well-hidden by whomever was here last. I have found a few like this, but this one has remained pretty much intact all these years with no human interference."

Ben nodded. He walked towards he circle and made his way down the steps into the center, his fingers trailing over the cool stone banister. Ben stepped into the warm sunlight. The rays of light prickled his skin, his nose, danced on his eyelashes. He smiled as he studied the mosaic. The stones seemed to glisten and sparkles like running water as he passed by. Some stones had been cracked or weathered, while others looked as if they were newly polished and Ben had to wonder if Luke had replaced some of the stones.

"So," he smiled up to his uncle, who watched his nephew with curious eyes from the darkness. Ben clasped his hands together, "When do I get a lightsaber?"

Luke stared in silence, but gave his nephew a small smile. Perhaps Luke Skywalker was only amused at his nephew's eagerness to learn what was probably the most well-known aspect of the Jedi, or perhaps there were distant memories.

Han had told Ben several stories of when he had first met Luke and Obi-Wan Kenobi, who had gone by Ben Kenobi for the last nineteen years of his life and was the person Ben was named after. Once, when Ben had found a strange mechanical ball in the storage area on the ship, Han told him about how Kenobi had trained Luke how to blindly defend himself against blaster bolts emitted from a training remote while his father watched, making his cynical remarks about the Jedi.

Luke moved from the shadows, the floating dust in the room swirling in his wake as he stepped down the stairs and into the sunlight. "I'm afraid lightsaber training will have to wait for another time." Luke placed his hands behind his back and began circling Ben. "Oh, don't look at me like that. You'll get to play soon enough," Ben schooled his features so he didn't look so disappointed that today's lesson wasn't going to involve lightsabers, "besides, I don't have any training lightsabers yet."

"Training lightsabers?!" Ben groaned. He wanted the real thing, the ones that buzzed and hummed as they were swung through the air and flared and crackled wildly when they hit other objects.

Luke smiled, raising his right hand, "believe me, you'll be glad you had a training lightsaber, especially once we get more students."

Ben eyed the metal hand, hoping that that wasn't in his future. The corners of his mouth tugged up and he nodded, not wanting to press the issue further.

Luke continued circling Ben, "a Jedi is strong not only in the Force, but in mind, body, and spirit. It isn't just waving laser swords around or downing Star Destroyers with a blink of an eye-"

Ben perked up, "You can do that?" Ben wondered if he would one day be able to do whatever his heart desired with just a twitch of his body and immediately imagined himself as an all-powerful Jedi, like Uncle Luke and his grandfather, Anakin. He immediately wondered how far that power went. Would he in fact be able to do anything?

Luke glared at Ben with annoyance, "I never actually did that," he said as if he had heard this fantastic story over and over, each version becoming more and more wild, "people tend to spread stories, legends, of the Jedi as these mighty beings who could do no wrong and had not a single flaw in their body. But, that is not true. There are things we have to deal with more than others, and when you come from a line of Jedi as powerful as the Skywalker's, our burdens not only weigh on ourselves, but those we love as well," there was a distant look in Luke's eyes, "we are often feared and worshiped as gods, but we are very much human. That is something you must remember, especially being a Skywalker."

Ben just stood there. Skywalker. He was a Skywalker by blood. Powerful, strong. Maybe this wouldn't be so terrible, he thought. Maybe there were things that he could do to end the corruption that still existed. Maybe he could teach Sed a lesson he'd never forget, to the point where that sniveling brute would be down on his knees, begging for mercy. Ben smirked at the idea of having someone like Sed at his feet. He even saw it in his mind. How anybody who had ever laid a finger on Ben or his friends would grovel in his wake and-

"BEN!" Ben snapped out of his reverie. Luke stood next to him, his blue eyes ablaze with fear and anger. Ben stared down at his much-shorter uncle, his lip trembling as if he had just gotten into the worst trouble of his life. Luke sighed, "let's get started," He backed off, but Ben couldn't shake the feeling that Luke had heard everything that passed through his mind.

Luke pointed to the center of the circle, "sit here, legs crossed."

Ben hesitated for a moment. Could Luke read minds? He wondered. He bit his lip and sat down on the mosaic, but immediately shot up, "it's cold!" He said.

Luke pursed his lips, "You'll leave to live with it. Don't think about it and eventually, it won't bother you."

Ben sighed and lowered himself back to the floor, wincing at the frigid stone as he crossed his long, lean legs. He looked up to Luke for further instruction.

"Sit up tall and close your eyes." Ben adjusted himself and shut his eyes. The sunlight still glowed bright from beneath his eyelids.

He could hear Luke circling Ben once more, "Begin by breathing deeply, slowly. Notice your breaths, how it fills your lungs and rushed to every corner of your body, then rushed back out when it is done giving you the necessary element of life."

Ben hoped Luke didn't see his eyelids shift when he rolled his eyes. This wasn't what he wanted to do and the coldness seeping through the fabric of his pants didn't help with his restlessness. But, he did what Luke said. Maybe complying would help him get out of this stupid lesson faster. He breathed in and in and in as slowly as he could through his nose, held his breath for a beat, then expelled his breath slowly, but noisily, back out his nose. Immediately, his buzzing mind began to slow and he felt the tug of relaxation. His shoulders immediately looser and he was suddenly aware of the small sounds and smells, the sharpness of cold stone and the tiny breeze caressing the temple as it blew past.

"Now, I want you to use your mind to reach out into the Force." Luke said in a soothing tone, "Feel it's energy surrounding us. Binding us. Clear your mind, Ben. Take your time."

Ben allowed himself two more breaths, each one pulling him deeper and deeper into something, as if he were laying on a cloud that would dip down with each breath and he would free fall, but was immediately caught by the gentle waves of an ocean and soothed blissfully into meditation. He breathing soon became second nature and it was like he was floating in a sea of stars, each one twinkling bright as his gaze drifted over this strange place.

" _What do you see?" Luke whispered. His voice echoed in Ben's mind._

 _"Darkness, but also light," Ben didn't move his lips, but his voice cut through the empty space he floated in. "Night, but also day. Death. Life. Weak. Strong. Young. Old. Hate. Love. You. Me. And..." Ben paused. A pair of hazel eyes flashed through warm sunlight, staring at him, sad eyes of a young child who has been through more hardship than anybody should, "her."_

 _"Her?" Luke questioned._

 _Ben continued, "I know her. I mean, I feel like I do. A girl from sand. But I don't know her name. Just her loneliness. Her abandonment." Ben reached out, trying to touch the girl, but his fingers glided through her like she was swirling fog. Ben desperately curled his fingers around tendrils of smoke as she disappeared. The sunlight faded to pitch black and Ben was suddenly chilled to the bone._

 _"Ben?" Luke said. His voice had a hint of warning in it._

 _"And there's him." A pair of cold, steel-blue eyes stared at him from the darkest corner of his mind. A shadow loomed over him. An unnaturally tall, slender man. Ben could feel him, the unimaginable energy radiating off of him._

 _"Him? Ben, you need to let go. Get out of this vision." There was a warning in Luke's tone, a sudden panic. But Ben didn't let go._

 _The strange being reached out towards Ben, pale, bony fingers curled with arthritic scars, "Ben Solo," The voice growled. Ben reached out toward the being. Someone called to him, faint, distant, and Ben ignored it as he leaned forward. A deafening crack sliced through the vision, followed by a rumbling cacophony. Louder. Louder. Louder. The dark swallowed the being and Ben felt as if he was falling. Down. Down. Down. Wind slashing at his face, his hair._

 _"Ben..." Luke's voice echoed louder. Ben continued his plunge, further and further into nothingness. His heart thrashed in his chest. What was at the bottom? "Ben!" Luke was louder that time. Ben shut his eyes, his body tumbling helplessly through the air. Death awaited him at the bottom of this chasm. He almost welcomed it. Kya. Kya was on the other side. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. It would inevitably happen one day. Ben relaxed and fully gave himself to what laid below._

 _"BEN!"_

 _Ben plummeted faster and faster and allowed total darkness to consume him._

* * *

 _Ben._

 _He was home. Sitting at his desk in the warmth of his room, pondering what to write as the black ink dripped onto the parchment._

 _Ben._

 _There is a rustling behind him. He turns to see Kya standing in the doorway. She had never been to his apartment. He stood, nervously gawking at her presence._

 _Ben._

 _Maybe this was real. He hoped it was real and everything else had been just a dream. He wasn't really with Luke. Kya moved toward him, her petite frame dwarfed by Ben's lean, tall stature._

 _Ben._

 _She reached up, wrapping her delicate arms around him. She smiled, those sky-blue eyes gazing into his mahogany brown. Trembling, he wrapped his hands around her tiny waste._

 _Ben._

 _But she didn't move, only smiled at him and something about it unsettled Ben. There was something in her eyes, something he hadn't seen before. A darkness where life had once been. Ben swallowed, "Kya?" Kya blinked. Her soft, rosy lips parted to speak, but before she could inhale, she was swallowed whole by a blinding flash._

 _Ben._

 _An invisible force slammed against him and he flew back and back and back until he crashed into the hard ground of the hoverball field behind him. The world around him exploded into a violent inferno and the last thing he heard over the roaring fire was Kya's pleading scream, "Ben, stop!"_

* * *

"Ben! Ben, wake up!" Luke shook Ben's shoulders.

Ben gasped sharply. His cheek was smashed against the cold stone floor, chilled saliva sticking to his skin. His eyes fluttered open. He squinted and groaned at the bright, blurry light pouring in from the temple's skylight. His heart still hammered in his chest. He tried moving his limbs, but found they were numb and barely responsive.

Ben searched the light until he focused on the terrified face of Luke Skywalker. He swallowed, "what happened,?" he muttered.

Luke studied him, opening and closing his mouth. He wasn't angry, Ben noted, but scared, and it unsettled Ben.

Ben peeled himself off of the floor with shaky arms, "Luke, please tell me. What was that?" Ben trembled with each passing moment Luke didn't speak to him, but stared with wild, blue eyes as if he had never seen anything like what Ben had just done in his life. Or had seen it before and it was something he feared more than anything.

Luke turned away, "go back to your hut," he said sternly, "we are done with lessons for today." Luke began to walk back up the stairs, into the darkness beyond.

Ben reached out, "But, Luk-" There was a crunching and scraping beneath him. Ben shifted his gaze downward. His breath caught in his throat when he saw the mosaic beneath him was shattered to rubble.

* * *

Ben couldn't pick up his pens, nor could he tolerate anything outside of laying in bed and staring up at the beamed ceiling, watching as the shadows shifted in the sunlight as the hours ticked by. The hut was warming as the day pressed on, but too slowly for his liking and no matter how many blankets Ben wrapped around him, there still was a biting chill he couldn't shake.

Ben clenched and unclenched his fists as he thought about what happened. What was Luke so afraid of and why wouldn't he tell Ben anything other than send him off to his hut?

The questions clawed at his mind the more and more he dissected his vision and Luke's reaction. What did this all mean? Who is the twisted figure he saw reaching out to him? And, what ate away at him the most, who was this girl he keeps seeing? A girl from sand, he called her. Was she real? Or just someone he created in his mind?

Ben tossed and turned for several hours until his exhaustion took over and he began to drift to sleep.

 _It was dark and hot, the kind of dry heat that immediately parched one's mouth and throat. Ben whirled around, trying to find a way out, slamming his fists against metal. He turned and saw a dim light spilling through a doorway and inched closer. Ben craned his neck around the the corner to find an empty room. The light was coming from a lone window and he immediately knew he was back on the sand planet inside the same little room he had been seeing the girl, but she was nowhere._

 _He proceeded to step into the room, making sure not to disturb anything. In the same corner, by the window, he saw a stack of partially eaten rations and a canteen of water. Nearby, there were several severely dried flowers. They were so wilted that Ben almost didn't recognize them as flowers. He was surprised they grew in such an arid wasteland. He bent and reached for one, but the moment his fingers grazed the parchment-like petals, they crumbled to dust in his hand. He immediately backed away from it. His back hit the metal wall across from the girl's meager belongings._

 _He whirled and saw seven small scratches etched on the wall in vertical, perpendicular lines. He ran his hand over the makes. Judging from the light color and the raised edges, they were freshly made. He could only guess what they meant._

 _The door crashed open. Ben's head shot to the shadows entering the room, back pressed against the wall. The wailing of a small child and the grumbling of some sort of non-human species echoed, as did the clanking of metal-on-metal._

 _The girl and a strange alien burst into the room. The alien's thin, bony fingers clawed into the girl's tiny arm and she screamed and cried and thrashed in pain. Ben thought he saw a small trickle of blood._

 _"You're gonna learn, girl," the alien growled, "that stealing is not tolerated!"_

 _"But I didn't steal!" The girl cried, "it was-"_

 _The alien swung his hand, the back of his hand connected with her face with a loud crack and the girl was thrown to the ground._

 _Ben reached for the girl, "No!" He froze, realizing his error._

 _The girl snapped her head to Ben, her crying ceased. She gasped, "what are you doing here?"_

 _The alien narrowed his eyes and followed the girl's gaze to Ben. He gazed at Ben in confusion, then looked back at the girl, then back at Ben. The girl never took her eyes off of Ben. The alien rolled his bulbous eyes, "human children and their imaginary friends," he grumbled, throwing his hand in the air. There was a bag in his hand, its contents clattering with every movement. He sent the bag crashing at the girl's feet, along with a brush, "I want these to be spotless. If Plutt finds any dirt, then it will be up to him what to do with you." The alien paused, a decayed smile crossing his thick, blue lips, "and your parents. You have until the end of the day." The girl winced as she looked up at the grotesque alien, but pressed her lips together to keep from crying. She began to scramble, gathering the bag and the brush, shooting glances at Ben._

 _The alien turned towards the door and opened it, spilling bright light into the dim room. He turned back to the girl, a half smile spreading across his face, "You're lucky I'm so lenient with you, girl! If it were anybody else, they'd have you killed in a week." With one more huff, he stepped out into the bright sunlight and slammed the door._

 _It took a moment for Ben's eyes to adjust to the dimmed room. He squinted to find the girl sitting near the small window with the bag and brush, staring at him._

 _Neither of them said anything, or moved, for quite some time, but Ben noted that, this time, the girl never looked at him in fear, just a calm curiosity. It was she who spoke first, "why can't they see you?"_

 _Ben shrugged, "I don't know," he mumbled, "maybe because I'm not really here? But, you can see me."_

 _The girl wiped away a stray tear, "Are you real?" She sniffed and gave Ben a look as if she would become upset if she found out he wasn't real._

 _"Yes, I'm real. But, are you?"_

 _The girl opened her mouth as if she were offended, "I am real!" She yelled._

 _Ben put his hands up in surrender, "okay, okay," he paused, trying to be careful how he chose his words, "it's just...I'm in bed, asleep, on another planet..." he looked around, trying to piece together his surroundings, "what planet is this, anyway?"_

 _The girl bowed her head in shame, "Jakku."_

 _Ben's eyes widened, "Jakku? I haven't heard that name in quite some time." Ben remembered the stories of the Battle of Jakku, about the last major battle between the rebels and the remnants of the Empire before the treaty was signed and the Republic rose._

 _The girl snorted, "no one's heard of Jakku past your stories. No one willingly comes out here." She sighed before adding, "no one cares about anybody out here."_

 _Ben stumbled over his words, "well, I'm sure someone does. I mean, the Senate..." he stopped himself. He wasn't sure what the Senate was doing besides arguing over trade in the outer rim, as his mother had mentioned. Ben was suddenly desperate to change the subject, "what's your name?"_

 _The girl blinked in curiosity before answering, "I told you my name the last time you were here," she grumbled. When Ben cocked his head in confusion, the girl finally answered, "Rey."_

 _"Rey? I'm Ben," he held out his hand, "nice to meet..." he paused and saw the girl press herself into the closest wall. He drew his hand back, embarrassed and kind of hurt._

 _"You told me your name the last time you were here," she began taking the clattering scraps of metal out of the bag and grabbed the brush, "why do you keep coming here?"_

 _Ben shrugged, "I don't know. I can't exactly control...whatever this is, nor do I know how it works. Like I said, I'm actually asleep in a bed right now." He settled himself down on the ground and noted the floor was all sand, "so," he said as his mind searched for the right topic, "how old are you, Rey?"_

 _"Umm, five." She replied as she began brushing the part in straight, hurried strokes. Her small hand barely fit around the end of the brush, "you?"_

 _Ben smiled, "fifteen." He studied how the girl swatted dirt off the part, missing way too much dirt, as he thought of what to ask next "have your parents come back yet?"_

 _Wrong question. A stream of silent tears trickled down the girl's cheek and she began scrubbing harder and harder at the parts. Ben began to panic. "Sorry...I didn't mean...it's just..." Damn what do you say to that? Nice going, Ben! He thought to himself._

 _He let the girl cry for a moment. She brushed the part she was working on harder, more aggressively, grunting with every stroke. "It will help if you brush in a circular motion," Ben said calmly, soothingly. The girl startled and looked up at Ben through her tears and confusion. "Like this," he moved his hand in a circle as if he were holding an invisible brush in it. Rey watched him for s moment then mimicked the motion, glancing at Ben once with a cocked eyebrow and remaining when Ben nodded in approval._

 _She brushed the part, moving her hand in quick circles, then stopped and gasped when she saw the part was getting clean. She looked up at Ben, "thank you. How did you know?" She sniffed away the stray tears._

 _Ben shrugged. "My Dad had me clean spare parts a few times when he'd take me off-world." Ben's mind immediately drifted to his father and wondered what he was doing. Probably in another cantina in some obscure world drinking to oblivion, or doing any other number of his "don't tell your mother" things._

 _Rey stopped brushing and sat the piece aside and sat up straight, her features perked with curiosity, "you've been to other planets?"_

 _Ben casually shrugged, "yeah, of course. Hasn't everybody?"_

 _Rey's face fell. She gazed down at the floor and gave a slight shake of her head. Ben immediately felt the tightness of guilt rise in his stomach. "Oh," he said, "I'm sorry. I just assumed...you've at least flown before, right?"_

 _Rey looked up at Ben, "not on a ship," she said, "my parents had an old landspeeder that would break down every couple days. They repaired it using parts no one wanted."_

 _Ben gave the girl a sad glance, "oh." He pressed his lips together and realized how dry and cracked they were from the sweltering heat. He didn't know what else to say. Most topics seemed to turn awkward given this girl's humble life, especially when compared with Ben's._

 _"What's flying like?" Rey asked. Ben perked up and found her staring with eager eyes._

 _"Flying..." he began, "flying is...alright, but it depends on what kind of ship you're on. A big transport ship or one of those old Star Destroyers won't do any fancy maneuvers or barrel rolls, like an X-Wing or TIE Fighter, though sometimes I still get a thrill when we jump to lightspeed in one of those things." Ben smiled, reminiscing at what it was like to fly with his dad, "my dad's ship was fast, I mean really fast. It was a piece of junk, sure, broke down a lot, but my dad could get out of any situation in that thing. He'd sometimes try maneuvers most other ships would fall to pieces trying, but somehow that "bucket of bolts," as my mother called it, was able to pull it off."_

 _Rey smiled, glancing between Ben and her work, "one day, I'll fly. I'd love to learn how to fly a ship, especially a ship like your father's."_

 _Ben chuckled lightly to himself, flashing her a beaming smile, "I hope one day, you do."_

 _They sat in silence again. The only noise was the crunch of bristles against the metal part. Ben studied how Rey would deeply concentrate on her work, every twitch of her eyebrow and tug at the corners of her mouth. He began mindlessly writing his name in the course, gritty sand with his finger: besh-esk-nern. He frowned at how some of the lines were crooked and started over and over. Besh-esk-nern. Besh-esk-nern. Besh-esk-nern._

 _He was just about to write his name once more when he noticed a pair of hazel eyes staring at him. He smiled at her, "can you write?" Rey pressed her lips together and shook her head. Ben looked down at his messy calligraphy. "How do you spell your name?" There were many ways to spell her name, he had learned about many people in the war who had the name, but he wasn't sure which way she spelled hers._

 _"I don't know," she said in a small voice, "I never learned how to do any of that."_

 _Ben gave her a quick smile, "hold on a second," he said. She nodded and he returned to writing in the sand. First, he drew resh. That was easy. But what was next? He had seen an aurek as the second letter in many spellings, such as Rae and Ray, but also he had seen an esk, such as in Rei. He thought for a moment, which spelling looked the prettiest. Then he made the final two letters: esk and yirt. Resh-esk-yirt. He grinned at his work, then leaned forward as far as he could and drew the characters, upside down from his point of view, so she could see. It proved to be difficult, not fully mastering right-side-up letters, but he was pleased with his work._

 _He pointed to each letter, "resh, esk, yirt. Rey. Now, you try." Rey leaned forward and copied the letters. She sat back to let Ben assess them. Ben noted how uneven they were and how Rey had missed several details in each letter. "That's a good start," he said reaching forward, "but try to angle the vertical leg of your resh. Like this." He demonstrated again, writing out each letter slowly and carefully._

 _Ben and Rey went back and forth a couple times, each time pausing so Rey could work on cleaning some parts. He would slowly inch closer each time they'd go over writing her name. Soon the entire room was filled with lines drawn in sand that Ben had to swipe his hand over some to keep practicing. After several tries, her letters had improved and most details near perfect. Rey delighted in spelling her name out loud, "resh, esk, yirt. Rey." She smiled gleefully._

 _Ben laughed, "that's right." He swiped over the sand once again, "would you like to learn more?"_

 _Rey's eyes lit up, "yes! Can you teach me?" She leaned forward, eager to learn more._

 _Ben flashed a smile, "okay." He reached forward to start with aurek. He was just about to make the first stroke when the world around him melted into blackness and the last thing he heard were the panicked screams of Rey yelling his name._

* * *

Ben's eyes flicked open. Night had fallen and his little hut was now dark. Ben rose from the bed, crashing into unseen objects as he fumbled for a candle.

Once the got the candle lit, he sat at his desk and picked up one of his pens from his calligraphy set, poured some of the expensive black ink into the little pot, and rolled out a piece of parchment.

He dipped the pen into the ink, but paused for a second when he held it over the parchment, a tiny black drop dripping onto the paper. What should I write? He wondered.

It didn't take him long to decide to write a letter to a friend, never mind how he was going to get it there. He smiled as he scratched the pen against the parchment, a smooth trail of black ink in its wake. When he was done, he stopped to admire his work. A name.

 _Resh-esk-yirt._

 **A/N: Hey all! It took me a little longer to write this one. I have had a bad cold and it makes it difficult to concentrate on writing. I'm going to alternate between writing this one and Unrequited and Whispers. I hope everyone is having a great day!**


	4. Message

Hello all,

I know I have been gone for a while and have left my small number of readers hanging on all three of my fics. For that, I'm sorry. There are a number of factors that have contributed to my long absence. The winter months are horrible for me between colds and issues with dry skin. I have to be comfortable when I write and winter just takes it all out of me. I was planning on picking up all of my stories in the spring. Well, spring ended up coming with the worst allergies I have had in a long time. I was just getting by on a daily basis with meds. My allergies are getting better, though now I have a cold, but now I have been ignoring these stories for another reason. Right now, there is so much hate in the Star Wars fandom. I don't actively engage the haters, but I see what is written and the amount of hate given to Reylos, Kathleen Kennedy, cast members (I am sad to see Kelly Marie Tran bullied off of IG), and just Star Wars in general. It had become exhausting and really toxic and hateful. For that reason, I am taking a break from the fandom, especially online. I will still go on Tumblr from time to time, but I will be absent for a while. I hope to pick up all three stories soon, but for now, I have to leave. Sorry if this causes any disappointment. I hope you can understand.

May The Force Be With You,

SignaltheStars


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